“Be who you want to be” — Barbara Millicent Roberts

What have I learned from staying in New York? 

There is a theme in New York. A lesson. A lesson that a good portion of people never fully learn. It's an attitude. It's a lifestyle. It's “I don’t give a shit!” And boy, does it feel good. It feels as good as your morning shit. You don't have time to stop and smell the shit. You're just there to be the shit. Okay I’m done with the shit analogies, they are starting to get shitty (See what I did there!? I do what the fuck I want! This is my blog and fuck you!)

People are busy. They have more important things to do. Do you think if someone cuts them off they’re mad for the next 20 minutes? Do you think they whine to their friends when they get blackmailed by their 30 year old neighbor over a scale? Do you think they worry about what people think or do? THEY DON'T!! And neither should you. Life is short. People are crazy, but don't make it your crazy. Move on! Wear whatever you want. Eat what you want. Jerk off whoever you want. And if someone is watching you and judging you while you jerk off whoever, then fuck ‘em! Why are they the ones looking!? They are the real sickos of life. The onlookers. They live their life as if someone is watching, and act like you should do the same. 

Jerking off is a natural part of life. Being perverse is the norm. It's these uptight people without coffee stains on their shirt bitches we should be worried about. They care. They judge you for your coffee stains and your shit analogies. Fucking rock the boat. Fuck the boat! Jerk the boat off! 

Disclaimer: That being said. You are who you jerk off, so be careful. Make sure they are worthy of your calloused hands. On that note you are also what you eat. So eat whatever, but afterwards eat some spinach. Wear shoes that feel nice. Wash your face and put all the potions on. Do that weird thing you like. Love/jerk off yourself and jerk off/fuck the world.