Hot/Cold

I’ve been detoxing, and my creativity has gone with it. Why does circling the drain feel so good? Have you ever taken out the plug while still laying in the tub, and you feel yourself slowly being pulled down with the water? That's how I feel. I'm getting heavier. Gravity and I are intertwined. I've forgotten what it's like to be firmly planted. There is some peace that comes with it. 

I wrote that last paragraph yesterday, and it's funny, today has been a flood of different emotions and ideas. Ones that are contradicting yesterday’s. That's what's somewhat amusing about writing, yes it's logging my ideas, but it's not who I am. It's just what stage of the moon I was in. 

I’m always being pulled in different directions. It's what makes it harder to tell if I’m growing up or not. Some moments I feel like I'm back to being an emotional teen. Other times I find myself a grounded 80 year old woman. The only thing constant is change.