Living with your parents and your “hubby”
I'm back home staying with my parents for the next week and a half. It's always interesting to regress, but then to regress with a husband in tow adds another element. He has already cleaned the kitchen. He has told me at least five times that he had to kill at least six spiders crawling on him. I think living in my parents house for 24 hours has made him an Arachnophobia. I am getting some perverse please out of his fear. It makes me feel less crazy every time I feel a hair slide down my arm, and I already can imagine some six legged freak dancing on my forearm.
My mom has asked him to pull out the carpeting in the living room. He has taken the request surprisingly well. Mom and him now have a list of things to get to orchestrate the castration of the 35 year old carpet. That son-of-a-bitch doesn't stand a chance against my hyper productive hubby.
Calling joe my “husband” is still a foreign word. Hubby is something I can swallow. It seems silly. Husband sounds like a word from a woman who takes marriage seriously. I don't. Till death do us part is kinda a downer. I like the concept “till we no longer like each other”. It's my way of trying to incorporate the goldie hawn philosophy. It has to be a choice. I don't want to feel locked in. I want to feel like i can run away anytime.
The hubby calls me his wife any chance he gets. It seems so easy for him. It's like a truffle for him. It melts in his mouth. He loves it, and it shows. Although I'm wife number two. So he has had more practice with these pronouns. I still feel like marriage is a sorority that i am trying to pledge (quote basterdized from sex and the city). It's this group I've always wanted to be a part of, but now I'm in it, and everything feels the same. Joe feels it. Maybe it's because it happened so fast? Maybe it's because literally everything in my life has changed that truthfully marriage is the last phase I have had a chance to psychoanalyse. Maybe because it's a scary contract that seems truthfully un sexy. Maybe because I refuse to “til the death part”.
