Plan B

 But what is plan A? Having safe sex? Is it being able to have a child?Is it being able to financially have a child? Is that the goal? 

What is my plan A? The only thing I can think of is having a house. A job I love. I'm emotionally healthy. Im happy with my body. Throw in a cat.

Will I ever feel ready for a baby? I enjoy being selfish. Having something grow inside me, and weaken my bone density. It will stretch out my breasts. I will literally be ripped up from the inside, and then my whole life dedicated to this thing. Have you seen a really pregnant woman..it's kinda scary looking.  And yea joe will be involved. But let's be honest, men are mostly garbage. Joe, I don't have any doubt will put in his fair share. But women are lighter sleepers. Women wake up in cortisol panics. Women are blamed if the kids are brats. What if my child is severely autistic? What if the child blames me for something? Isn't that the usual? People blame their parents! I'm always shocked when i hear people NOT complain about their parents. And most of those people are highly religious, where they are force fed “honor thy mother and father”. So if they didn't have that tattooed into their brain would they be satisfied with their product aka their life. 

Maybe that's the real problem. Life. Life isn't easy, but what is easy is to blame. And being able to blame the two people who set up the momentum of your life fits the bill.