Ramblings

Should I become an uber driver? Meet strangers. Technically that would be my job. And let's be honest, how am I supposed to get new material if I'm at home all day? If I'm not inspired I basically become a walking turd.

No more sleeping in. Wake up with a hot/cold face plunge. Then a face regiment. Make coffee. Then sit drinking coffee and looking at my white board. Maybe inspiration will strike tomorrow. 

Do most people feel like an unlovable weirdo? Is that why most teenagers are famous for yelling “You don't understand”. Same script, different people. But getting fired because three girls didn't like you. That's definitely a data point. Maybe three isn't the biggest sample. But it's not like people are clamoring to get next to me. If you saw me on the street you would think I am just your regular fat white girl. I need a thing. An angle. Right now I'm just looking straight at myself. I need a tattoo. Or maybe cat eyeliner. I'm bland oatmeal. I don't even know myself. Am I nice? Or am I just an average person “nice”? It's not like I'm creating a revolution. Have I lost my fight? Coffee addiction, weed, and a pandemic muzzled my uninhabited personality. They say you are the four people you hangout with the most. Do house cats count? Because that's what ive become.