BEING FIRED BECAUSE NO ONE LIKED you

Imagine being fired. Now imagine being fired because no one liked you. You tried, You showed up with a smile on your face. You asked everyone if they needed help with anything. Yet when you walked into a room they stopped talking. They had an inside joke, and you were that joke. You felt uncomfortable. Often just trying to take up less space. Your enthusiasm wilts on the vine. You start questioning yourself. Why don't they like me? 

Then on a friday afternoon you're fired. You try to get out of there as quickly as possible. You find your lungs tightening up. Finally in the car you release a wave of waves of sobs. You're whipping snot all over your scrubs. It's not like you will even use these again. It starts to make sense. They have been even colder to you the last two days. They stopped pretending to half heartedly help you. You literally got voted off the island. The transplant was rejected, You were the redheaded stepchild. When ironically you're in fact a blue eyed, dirty blond, first born baby conceived on the night of their marriage vows. But people don't see you, they see only a projection of themselves. A lesson I must tattoo on the back of my eyelids. Don't take things personally. 

It's been a couple of days. Kinda enjoyed being a stay at home wife. I cook and hangout with people all day. My cooking has gone from zero to sixty. I sleep in. My skin is rebounding! My only job is being the best version of myself. Everyone is telling me that this is a bad idea. But maybe they are jealous. Maybe they are right. Who knows. I just know that 

I have time to blog again! I'm watching beanie baby documentaries on hbo. I've hiked twice! I've seen all my friends and it's wednesday!