Magic

You know a topic that kinda echoes in your head, but you never actually mention it out loud. Well, Magic (The cat) was my soulmate. I think everyone gets that one animal that makes you think that getting a tattoo of them isn't insane. I got magic when I was a bit of an outcast with an underdeveloped brain. I was terrible in school, and my impulsive nature scared a good portion of girls. I always liked to view myself as tough. I was the fastest runner. I played sports…hard. On some level I hated women. Not something an elementary schooler can verbalize at that age.

My dad in his weird elementary school phase got a dog. So my parents did the same. Except from a young age I was enamored with cats. Women and cats! The only theory I have is that you hold them like babies, and they cry like babies. I admit my theory is lacking.

I remember the first day getting magic. I held him for literally hours. I didn't let him go. I had other cats. But they were feral and mean. Magic took it like a champ! Only fighting me two hours into my constant holding of him. But I didn't respect his boundaries and he literally shit on my polo shirt.  

I named him magic because I was into Harry Potter at that time, and he had an m on his forehead. I loved him. And when other members of my family claimed that he was their favorite, a ball of warm rage bubbled up in my heart. He was mine. 

We had the kind of love that when I thought about him dying I would cry. Cry while staring at his very alive body. He would wrap his body around my head when I would sleep. Or tucked in my armpit. 

I think about the last night we spent together. Something now that I feel tears welling up into my eyes. I had too much alcohol (a story maybe i'll tell later). Very hungover. But Magic came and put his two arms around my ears and laid his little head on my forehead. Hugging my headache. 

I left to go house-sit a mansion. While there I got a vague email from my father saying someone died on our street. I figured it was our old neighbor Jean. It wasn't. In another email he said it was Magic and then proceeded to gender him a woman. I don't even care about gender roles. But fuck you! Magic was a male! 

How could you put my cat down without even telling me ahead of time. Through a fucking email!!!! And especially because I had been telling them to send him to the vet for the last three months because he wasn't acting his normal self. 

I was told they couldn't afford whatever the veterinarian was saying they should. That is such a fucking lie. We went on vacation! We would go to eat sushi like three times a week. Dad buys on average 3 cars a month. 

And now I’m crying. Funny that this is my most visceral article. Funny that I would say the world funny after “and now I’m crying”.